Pretty Crazy

Okay that's a very short story. It should almost definitely be extended. You need to explain your characters better. Why is this girl here? Etc. Oh and it needs to ...

Just thought I'd tell you that this caught my attention. The description and feeling of it was amazing. I will read the next part for sure. Oh, one thing: What ...

Because the color pink said so. :P Why is snow white?

A place near my family, but kinda out of the way. No interruptions. I must have music. Upbeat but not too fast. People talking is okay, as long as they're ...

Yeah, I agree this was even better than the last chapter. I could learn a thing or two from your writing style. The way you take an everyday object and ...

There is some incredible description going on here. The best I've read in a while, actually. The scene was very clear, thank you for that! I really think you should ...

Very interesting. :D There were one thing that struck me as a little cliche: I suppose I should start from the beginning It's your story, you don't have to get ...

Here I am (finally)! This is going to be blunt: I have no idea where the characters are. Everything else seems good, you have several good hooks going. But, your ...

Thanks guys! You were all very helpful. Well, I guess I better start posting. :P

Good job on the bend of their knees. The detail is good too. I don't know how you made it so semetrical, it's amazing! That's all I have to say. ...

I've seen them a lot. But I can't figure out how to do it. Can anyone tell me how to get the letters under my username? Thanks bunches. :wink:

Title: Adjusting to the Dark- Chapter 2 action/adventure fiction It's not very exciting I'm afraid. >.< I'm trying to edit it. :P

I'm not going to go very in-depth here, but I thought I'd just say I liked it. You have a nice, simple yet clear writing style. And you did a ...

You have a very fascinating mystery going on here. Okay so this is what I understand: There's this thing that's controlling their thinking to make it seem like they want ...

I don't really have anything to critique about it. Just thought I'd say I like the creativity in it. :P